So Different Page 15

  “Nope,” he said, pulling her up gently to sit on the bed. “I’ve got something for you. Let’s see if we can find a position that doesn’t hurt as much, that doesn’t require you to move much,” he said. He winked and smiled his smooth, sure smile as he pushed her onto her back. He squatted down in front of her and he pushed her legs apart.

  “Found it,” he said, his head now between her legs, softly kissing the inside of her thighs. She laughed and closed her eyes.

  * * *

  “What now?” she asked, after he was done with her. She felt relaxed, liquid even, fighting to keep her eyes open.

  “Turn over,” he said as he stood up and walked to the bathroom. She did as she was told, moving to lie fully on the bed. He returned with something in his hand. It smelled like something her granddad used to have her rub into his fingers, something mentholated.

  “Where do you hurt?” he asked, moving to straddle her back.

  “Here.” She pointed to her left hip, looking at him over her shoulder.

  He worked the salve into her hip. She moaned, but in a good way, and he smiled. His fingers were strong as he massaged her from her hip to her back and shoulders, and then all over. She moaned again and yawned. She was sleepy.

  He worked at it for a while. Her mind went quiet and her eyes closed, enjoying the firmness, the strength of his hands moving over her body. This was a first. No one else had done that for her; not that she’d given them the opportunity, but they hadn’t tried, either.

  Her mind drifted to the men who came before him. Actually there hadn’t been many, and none that she considered serious. And why was that? She knew, but decided it could keep until later as she let herself fall sleep.

  He worked her body for a while, and could tell the exact moment when she’d fallen asleep. She was a lovely woman. Lovely. Did those words just cross his mind? What, wait, back up, he thought and stopped. He got up, replaced the lid on the tube of whatever it was, and went to wash his hands. He returned and looked at her lying there, dead to the world. He slid into bed next to her. A few minutes later he’d joined her in sleep.

  He awoke up, later, a moan at his lips, trying to get his bearings. He moaned again, longer than before. He was in his apartment, and Mariah was—he moaned again—down by his waist, her mouth was softly wrapped around him, moving up and down, making his head spin. His hands moved to her head, his fingers found purchase in her hair, and he went with the feel of her, softly surrounding him. He groaned a few minutes later, emptying himself into her mouth, holding on to her head, moaning as he came. He couldn’t have stopped his climax if he’d wanted to.

  She turned onto her side and watched him, a smile on her lips as he opened his eyes, giving her one of his beautiful smiles.

  “You liked that, did you?” she said.

  He chuckled. “I did, Mariah Scary. You are something else. And in less pain now, I see,” he said, closing his eyes and pulling her to his side. She continued to watch him as her hand made its way over to trace his features. He smiled again—his softer, sleepy smile. His breathing was slowing.

  “Your turn,” she said, pushing him over. “Turn over onto your stomach,” she said.

  She lay on her side next to him, her hand roaming over his back now, kneading it. He groaned with pleasure. After a minute of two, his breathing deepened.

  “Sleepy?” she asked. He sort of smiled his reply, his last pull against staying awake. She rolled over onto his back and sat up, her legs straddling his waist, his butt a cushion for hers as her hands moved over him, twisting and rubbing, beginning with his shoulders. He groaned, not much different than his earlier expressions of pleasure as her hand moved lower, massaging and kneading.

  “I could grow to love your hands on my body,” he whispered.

  She chuckled at his choice of words. Men were so easy. Sex was usually enough, but any other rubbing sent them to the land of the dead.

  The I love you part was nice too, even though she knew he was teasing. It had the same effect on her as his open for me request when delivered smoothly and with the right amount of confidence behind it. “You could have them around more if you wanted,” she said, almost under her breath.

  He heard her but didn’t reply—he was too relaxed to respond to the push from her again. Just let it go, sleep pulling him under.

  She had fallen for him and would have to make a decision about him sooner than later. She wasn’t doing this for fun anymore. Fun wasn’t enough now.

  She hadn’t had many relationships. She was too independent, too selfish, maybe had too much attitude. She was too focused on her brother and his restaurant, wanting to make sure he was taken care of, just as her grandmother had before her. It had been her promise.

  Not that Joshua appreciated it. He wanted her to have her own life, choosing not to understand that her life was him, work, derby, and probably not Adam.

  She didn’t really fit Adam, except for sex. There she fitted perfectly. But otherwise they were as different as night and day. Junior D.D.S. was a good catch, with a nice suburban life laid out before him. Too bad for her that she didn’t fit that lifestyle. She wasn’t quite sure where she fit, to be honest; once the outsider, always the outsider.

  A black girl who likes rock? She also took to country—Rascal Flatts and the Zac Brown Band—and liked R&B, but was also hooked on the Dave Matthews band. Who was this? Her high school had been a mixed bag of cliques, and she hadn’t fit in much there, either. She hung out more with the white students.

  She wasn’t black enough for her black friends. What black girl wanted to roller derby, to swim, to horseback ride, to deviate from the list of any and all things black girls could and couldn’t do. It was all good if we all followed the same script, if we were all the same women, with the same goals, aspirations, desires, and histories.

  She stopped moving her hand and looked down at Mr. Dead to the World, snoring lightly now. She laughed, removing her body from his bed and going in search of her clothes. That was fun while it lasted. She yawned, deciding to leave early tonight, needing to get home to her bed. She had to work at Joshua’s in the morning. They were both tired, it seemed. She ached less, though, smiling at the memory of her full body massage.

  She dressed and stood back, looking over Adam one final time. She sighed and left.

  * * *

  First week in June – Wednesday.

  Mariah entered her brother’s home, grocery bags in each hand. She’d shopped for both of their households, hers and Joshua’s, and what was wrong with that? She could hear his regular I don’t need your help playing in her head. Theirs was a tricky relationship. He protected his independence, and she got his need for it. She wanted to help, and it didn’t make sense for him to shop for himself, not when she was going to the store anyway. She sat the groceries on the counter and looked around his home.

  Her experiences working around the visually impaired had taught her that shielding them from life, doing for them, was not in their best interest. They should function on their own, but he was her brother, her only living relative. Besides Casper, he had been the only one who she felt knew her intimately, that knew she was mostly bite, but loved her anyway.

  And back to Adam again. One rubdown and she was thinking what? Marriage? No, not that; friendship, maybe. She liked him, could see substance in him, skimming underneath the part that he allowed her to see. They’d been at this two months now, and for sure she needed more. She just wasn’t sure how to go about changing things between them. She emptied the groceries bags, moving to place the dry goods in his pantry.

  She cleaned off the counter next, letting the sink fill up with water; she’d knock out Joshua’s left over dinner dishes. Between work, Joshua, work at Joshua’s place, derby, and now Adam, she was bone tired, but not ready to give Adam up yet.

  She looked around Joshua’s apartment. Might as well pick up while she was here. She and Joshua had two different and distinct definitions of untidy. She picked up a few
clothes of his that had fallen to the floor, her thoughts returning to Adam.

  When would this end? Soon. She knew the answer to that. He’d just gotten free of one woman, and she didn’t imagine he was ready for another one. She’d always known she was the rebound girl.

  * * *

  It was Friday night, the end of the week, and the end of her shift. Mariah was sitting next to Casper at her brother’s place. For some reason Mariah felt irritable and tired. Joshua had lost Amber and he’d yet to hire another waitress to replace her. Oh, and Adam, the real reason for her lack of energy, although she seemed to perk up when she met him after practice.

  Both were now like drug addicts in need of their Tuesday and Thursday night fix. She felt like a junkie showing up at the crack house with a plea in her eyes. He must be on the same drug, because he opened the door, and then it was as it always was with them.

  “Hello,” Casper said, waving her hand in Mariah’s face.

  “Sorry,” she said.

  “Lot on your mind?”

  “Tired.”

  “Can’t leave that man alone.”

  “Guess not,” she said.

  “And?”

  “And nothing,” she said.

  “Not so much fun anymore?” Casper asked.

  “It is. I think I want to leave the bedroom for a bit.”

  “Mariah wants a relationship? Is the world still turning on its axis?” Casper said, looking around the room in wonder.

  Mariah was quiet, pondering that question. “What do you think? He didn’t ask for one, seems to like my place in his bed at night,” Mariah said. And was that bitterness she heard in her voice?

  “Hey, don’t get mad at him. It took two to tango. You agreed as much as he did. No playing that he-is-using-me card now. You started out using him, too.”

  “Thank you for pointing that out for me,” she said.

  “Sure, the truth according to Casper. So tell him you want something different.”

  “What do I tell him I want exactly?”

  “What do you want exactly?”

  “Not marriage. I mean he hasn’t asked for it, far from it, but I do want to see him beyond Tuesday and Thursday. And not only just at night, you know?

  “I know.”

  “So no marriage? Just friends. Get to know each other. Good sex still—no others while we see each other. That’s what I’ll ask for.”

  “Kind of like a relationship,” Casper said.

  “Kind of.”

  “What do you have to lose?”

  “Good sex.”

  “Yeah, but you guys have been at this for what, almost two months now?”

  Mariah nodded.

  “That should hold you until the next millennium,” she said, laughing. She laughed harder as Mariah flipped her off.

  “Try talking to him. It works for me when I meet someone. I go for honest. It’s so much easier, even if the outcome is not what you want.”

  “I’ll try.”

  “You have to do something, right?” Casper said.

  “What does Mariah have to do?” Joshua said, bumping into their table. He rarely used his cane in the restaurant. He ran his fingers over the table, feeling the booth and taking a seat at the end, sandwiching Mariah in.

  “What?” he asked, at the silence.

  “Mariah’s met a man—a dentist man,” Casper said.

  “Shit. Really, Mariah? Let me see, I bet you’ve been seeing him every Tuesday and Thursday night,” he said, running his hand over the table. “It’s the only time I can’t get her to work. I knew something was up.”

  “Nothing’s up,” she said.

  “You cleaned up my place again. That’s what’s up. How many times do I have to tell you that you don’t have to do those things for me? I can clean and shop for myself,” he said, irritation in his voice, addressing another issue he always had with her. Mariah would turn into his mother if he let her.

  “I was out anyway and just picked up some things I thought you might need. What’s wrong with that?” She turned to Casper. “Why can’t I help? Wouldn’t you be grateful for someone stopping by the store for you? If they cleaned up for you?”

  “I don’t need your help,” Joshua said.

  “Yeah, you do. Why do I work here then, training and filling in. Isn’t that help?” she said, turning back to Casper.

  “I’m staying out of this argument. Been in it one too many times.”

  “I’m not arguing,” Mariah said.

  “You own part of the business,” Joshua said.

  “Do not. The money wasn’t a loan or an investment. It was a gift. It wasn’t even that. It was your share of what was left to us.”

  “Maybe the dentist will distract you. Help you to see that you need a life outside of me. Bring him by,” Joshua said, changing the subject, his way of not addressing issues when they got too close to him for comfort.

  “What, you’re not my life?” she said, looking at Casper. “And don’t change the subject. This isn’t about me.”

  “Bring him by,” he said again, tired of arguing with Mariah.

  “I’ll bring him by when you leave my friend alone,” she added.

  “What friend?”

  “Reagan.”

  “Oh, that friend. Stay out,” he said.

  “I feel you. You stay out,” she said.

  He laughed. “Reagan is a big girl. She can look after herself. Leave my house and all things in it alone, Mariah,” he said, running his hand over the table, feeling for the edge, before standing up again. Her brother was always in motion when he wasn’t chewing out the female employees.

  “You’re not my daddy. I don’t have to listen to you,” she said, feeling all of three years old again. The ones you loved could really work your nerves. she thought.

  She had given him money after he’d completed his restaurant training program. She saved most of her money anyway. Casper called her cheap. She preferred frugal. Her savings, coupled with some money left to them by their grandparents, allowed Joshua to purchase this place. She considered it solely his, and helped when he needed it. And with his attitude toward women, it was often.

  Joshua ran the day-to-day operations, and she worked the weekends or weekdays when they were short of employees. Sometimes she’d just show up and work when she grew tired of her derby and her day job and wanted to feel less sorry for herself—the lonely woman.

  Her brother gave her few opportunities for that. He was the slave driver of the group and other than one time after he’d come home from the war, he didn’t spend much time with what-ifs; just forged ahead, making his way like everyone else.

  “See you two later. You working this weekend?” he asked.

  “Don’t I always? Now that the new girl is gone, you need me.”

  “Nope. I hired another new girl. She starts this Friday, so we’ll see how it goes, but I may call you,” he said, walking away.

  “Guess that means I’ll be here.”

  He walked away, bumping into one of their regular customers.

  “Watch where you’re going,” Omar yelled playfully. He lived near her brother and was here every evening after work for dinner. He was single and hated to cook.

  “I am watching,” Joshua said, and they laughed.

  “So what are you going to do about Junior?” Casper asked.

  “Talk to him,” she said.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Second week in June

  Tuesday of the following week Maggie caught Adam coming out of cleaning room number one, removing his gloves from his hands.

  “There’s a woman here to see you,” she said and watched his eyes grow wary. “Not your old fiancée,” she said. The staff had all been witness to her coming to the dental office that one time. Maggie remembered the scene, and it had not been a pretty sight. She was nice at first, but ended up screaming her way out of the office, accompanied by the police.

  “Her name is Tiff,” she added.

 
“Oh. She’s here for an appointment?”

  “Nope, she said she was in the neighborhood and thought she’d stop by. She and you go to roller derby, said you’d know who she was,” she said, watching irritation flicker over his face.

  “Want me to get rid of her?” she asked.

  “Nope. Give me a second, and I’ll go out to talk to her.”

  He recalled Michael telling him about her, but he’d forgotten. He washed his hands and walked down the hall, opening the door to the waiting area. It was near noon, and Mrs. Johnson had been his last patient before lunch so the waiting area was empty.

  “Hi,” he said, smiling, but not too widely. Didn’t want to give her the wrong impression. “What are you doing here?” he said, walking further into the room as she walked over to meet him. She was an attractive girl—tall, slim, dressed in a nice, soft dress with her blonde hair curly and softly falling to her shoulders.

  “I work near here, thought I could stop and see if you wanted to get some lunch. We could hit that Taco Post on the corner,” she said, smiling her beautiful smile. He looked at his watch, buying some time to come up with an excuse.

  Mariah’s image shuttered through his mind and he heard himself say, “Sure, give me a few minutes and I’ll be there.”

  “Great,” she said.

  He walked back to his office, pushed his wallet into his pocket, grabbed his keys, and walked down the hall to the small kitchen. Rachel, Maggie, and Jupiter sat around the table, eating their lunch.

  “Going to lunch,” he said.

  “With her?” Maggie asked.

  “Not that it’s any of your business, but yes.”

  “I thought you were seeing someone,” she added.

  “Why would you think that?” he asked.

  “No reason,” she said, and took a bite of her sandwich. Her face had the look of I-know-your-up-to-something on it.

  “Okay then, if you’re done with the interrogation, I’ll be back in less than an hour.”

  “You have a one-fifteen,” she said.

  “Got it,” he replied and left. He walked back out into the waiting area. “Ready,” he said, walking to the door that led out into the sunshine.